Pele says: “Gravity cannot defy Pele!”

Pele says: “When Pele waves at you, you will become pregnant!”

Pele says: “Pele feels tiny next to this Frankenstein monster!”

Pele says: “Pele thinks you should’ve worn more suntan lotion!”

Pele says: “Pele hopes you can’t get pregnant doing this!”

Pele says: “Look at the light emanating off of Pele!”

Pele says: “There’s an even bigger Pele above the me Pele!”

Pele says: “Pele bets you can see his cavities from that angle!”

Pele says: “If Pele wasn’t such a nice guy he would punch you in the gullet with this tiny ball, Sepp Blatter!”

Pele says: “You need to pick a haircut and stick with it, David Beckham. Pele is better than you in all aspects of life!”